I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
