Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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