Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
