There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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