your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
