I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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