Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
In America we eat man semen.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
