I take back everything I said about communal showers
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize