I am spending my child support on dildos
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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