You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Nicole vs. Life
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
