he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
