We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
