Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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