Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
