If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
