Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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