she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
