What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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