shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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