Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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