There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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