Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
