did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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