You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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