Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
