Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I checked into jail on foursquare
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
