And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
