How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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