is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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