I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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