My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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