the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
3 2 1 whiskey
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
