Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
