Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Say something about gay babies.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
