Can i not drive my cunt home
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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