You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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