So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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