I wish i was in the wii world.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
