I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
