Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
