you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
