I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
only if we run a train.
done.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
