i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
