where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
