it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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