Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
