Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
