yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My life is pants optional.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
