I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
