No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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